From Bedridden Corporate Misery to True Success (Discover How I Did It)
An article for those who've lost that loving feeling for work
Does it feel almost impossible to get out of bed in the morning to go to work?
Are you spending all weekend recovering from your work week?
Do you find yourself sitting in meetings and wondering if this is all there is?
Are you working just to pay the bills and save for retirement?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you are not alone. My answer to all of those questions used to be a resounding “YES.” And I know thousands if not millions of others feel the same way.
Are you telling yourself it will get better if you just… ?
Get that promotion and extra bump in pay
Make it to the executive team so you can make the decisions
Get included on those important meetings
Take a sabbatical
Change companies
Change careers
Adopt a growth mindset and work on your resilience
Keep a gratitude journal
Repeat positive affirmations over and over
Reset on a long vacation
Get more therapy
Meditate more
Do yoga
Get more education and training
Read more professional books
Grow your network
Make six or seven-figures
Get a better boss
Get your boss to finally see you
Get a mentor
Get a guru
Improve the way you look, dress and carry yourself
Get leadership training
Quit
Guess what?
I tried every technique and achieved every goal on that list. And I was still miserable. Highly paid, highly regarded, high ranking, and…
Miserable
Burned out
Overwhelmed
Lonely
Feeling like an imposter
and Joyless
What changed?
Five years ago, when I was at my rock bottom, the universe plopped Teri Wade who would become my mindset coach right in front of me. (When I think back on that moment, I imagine there were neon signs pointing at her and a full marching band announcing her presence just in case I was too oblivious to notice.)
I met her on day 10 at the end of a 10-day Vipassana meditation course after I had been sitting in silence and “meditating” 10 hours a day for 9.5 days. My “meditation” involved a lot of attempts to non-judgmentally observe my mind desperately trying to solve my latest dilemma. You see, the day before I entered the meditation course, I received a comprehensive leadership evaluation that bruised my ego and crushed my soul. Especially since I was working around the clock, trying my very best to keep all the plates spinning.
My chattering mind came up with a lot of ludicrous ideas from plotting revenge to quitting my job to become a cashier at a fast food restaurant.
I did receive one insight in the midst of all that nonsense. I realized I couldn’t solve this problem on my own. I needed support. Support I hadn’t enlisted before.
So… back to the moment I met my coach, Teri. I asked her what she did. She shared that she helped people uncover and transform the hidden barriers and limiting beliefs that were in the way of them achieving their dreams. I didn’t understand how she did that and frankly it didn’t matter. I just knew I wanted to try working with her. (Maybe because of those neon signs from my imagination).
We started our work together right away. And I experienced immediate and astounding results from the very first session. I started to feel better in a way I never had before.
Why did this work when nothing else had?
Teri didn’t settle for trying to simply coach me through the surface level problems I brought to my sessions. She took me to the root of my problems to solve them.
For example, I came into one of my sessions and said “my boss wants me to deliver a strategy for how to better support the marketing organization next week. I’m overwhelmed and stressed because I can’t deliver a work product that will actually be impactful on such a short timeline.”
Most coaches would have focused on helping me build the confidence to go back to my boss with a counter proposal explaining what I could deliver and when in order to achieve the best result. In truth, that guidance would likely work to solve that problem. But the next time I faced a similar challenge, I would face the same overwhelm and stress even if I knew how to face the challenge.
Why do we keep facing the same challenges over and over again?
It’s too much work to try to override our stress response every time we’re faced with similar challenges—even if intellectually we know what actions to take. Trying to override our emotional response makes work miserable and exhausting.
In the example above, Teri took me back to the root memory that was making me feel stressed and overwhelmed when I received requests I couldn’t meet.
When I was in the third grade, I got my first B on my report card. I was distraught and had a total meltdown. My mom did her best to comfort me, but nothing she said made me feel any better. I grew up in a household that valued perfection. When I was perfect, I would receive praise. When I made mistakes, I was punished. I started to believe that I had to meet others’ expectations of me to be loved. I believed if I didn’t meet those expectations, I would be cast out.
In the session, Teri helped me resolve that memory by delivering the ideal message I needed to hear from my mom that day. A message that allowed my inner child to let go of her tight grip on the belief that she had to meet others’ expectations to be loved.
Once we had dealt with the root problem, it was easy for her to help me develop some positive affirmations that would help me know effortlessly what to do when faced with a situation where I couldn’t meet someone’s exact expectations of me.
The next time I faced that challenge with my boss, I was able to negotiate with him in real time without the rush of emotions. Our relationship improved dramatically because I was more relaxed around him, and he didn’t have to worry about “winding me up.”
Problem solved once and for all.
Session after session we tackled problem after problem at their roots. Resolving those root problems made it so much easier for me to think and behave in new and healthier ways.
Everything about my life is different in the best of ways now. My days are filled with doing the things I love. I rest whenever I feel like it. I feel free to share my ideas and take risks. I am filled with creative energy. And my life is full of joy and love.
Do you want to experience similar results in your life?
On July 23 at 3:30pm EDT, Teri will interview me on a LinkedIn Live about the powerful work we’ve done together. I’d love for you to join us! You can sign up here.
I hope to see you soon,
Ami